Do you know someone who has a problem with drugs? You can’t force someone to quit using drugs, no matter if they’re illegal or prescribed medication. There are ways to help them recover.
Family and friends are affected by drug addiction and abuse
It can be very distressing to watch someone you love struggle with a substance abuse disorder. It doesn’t matter if the drug abuser is your spouse, parent, child or close friend. Their addiction can easily take control of your life. You can feel guilt, shame anger, fear and frustration as well as stress and anxiety.
It is possible to worry about your loved one’s whereabouts at all times, their risk of overdosing or the impact on their home, health, and future. It is possible to be in debt because of their drug abuse or failed efforts at rehabilitation and recovery. Your loved one may be unable to care for you or your family members at work or home, or they might have a number of legal issues.
Regardless of how depressing you feel, you are not alone in your struggles. Pew Research Center’s 2017 survey found that almost half of Americans have a close friend or family member who has been addicted to drugs. The abuse of tranquillizers and prescription pain relievers has risen dramatically in the West over the past few years, creating a public safety crisis. They are now the most commonly abused drugs, along with marijuana.
Drug abuse and addiction can impact people of all walks of life. There is help. Although you cannot force someone to overcome their addiction, your support, love, and patience can be a crucial part of their recovery. These guidelines will help you to support your loved ones efforts and set boundaries that protect your health and welfare. This will allow you to find stability for yourself and your loved ones.
Understanding the substance abuse of a loved one
There are many reasons why people turn to drugs. People use drugs to manage the emotional pain caused by a mental illness, such as anxiety, depression, or PTSD. Self-medicating is a term that describes people who are aware of their mental health issues but cannot find better ways to cope. Others remain undiagnosed and take medication to treat specific symptoms.
Others use drugs to improve their mood, fit in, or alleviate boredom and dissatisfaction. There are also those who use drugs to get around a doctor’s well-intentioned attempts to treat a medical condition. Estimates suggest that over a quarter of all people who are prescribed opioids for pain relief will misuse the drug.
No matter what the reason behind your loved one using drugs, it is not always a problem. Although the causes of drug and substance addiction are not known, it is likely that genetics and environmental factors play a part. One person may be able to use substances with no adverse effects. But another person finds that even casual use can quickly turn into addiction and compulsion, a dark pit from which they are often unable to escape.
Recognizing signs of drug abuse in a loved-one
It can be difficult to identify if someone you love is using drugs. Teens can sometimes display normal teenage moodiness when they abuse drugs. There is no way to tell if someone’s drug use is increasing or decreasing in frequency. It doesn’t matter if your loved one uses drugs every day or every other month. What matters is the negative impact that their drug abuse has had on their lives.
These are signs that your loved one might have a substance abuse disorder
Problems at home, work, and school. For example, they may appear more confident and take longer days off from school or work to make up for it. They have a lower work performance and school grades, neglect their responsibilities at home and experience more difficulties in relationships. They could lose their job, drop out from school, or even separate from a long-term relationship partner.
Changes in your sleep schedule can lead to new health problems such as fatigue, rundown appearances, weight gain or loss, blurred vision, forgetfulness, or other cognitive issues. They may also experience frequent sniffing, nosebleeds or shaking depending on which drug they are using.
Changes in their mood or behavior. You may notice a change in your loved one’s behavior. They might be more secretive about their activities, where they are going, and how much they are using. You may find them quick to anger and lash out if you attempt to talk about their drug use. People who are heavy drug users tend to lose interest in their hobbies and feel depressed. If they are not allowed to use their drug of choice, they may neglect their appearance or personal hygiene and experience withdrawal symptoms.
Recurring financial problems. To support drug use, your loved one might have to take out credit cards, request loans or borrow money. They might even steal money or other valuables in order to buy drugs.
You should be on the lookout for drug paraphernalia
It is possible to detect a loved one’s substance abuse by the increased or new presence of drug paraphernalia.
To store drugs, you can use paper wraps, small pieces cling film and small plastic bags.
To smoke drugs, many people use rolling papers, pipes, bongs or pierced bottles or cans.
Heroin use may be indicated by burnt foil, spoons, or syringes.
Prescription drug abusers may renew their prescriptions more often or have prescriptions for another person.
How to talk about drug abuse with someone
It’s not easy to have a conversation about drug addiction with someone. However, it is important that you approach the topic from a place where there is compassion and understanding. It is not the intention of anyone to become addicted. Many people abuse drugs as a way to deal with mental or emotional problems. Addiction is often fueled by stress. Therefore, criticizing, demeaning or shameing your loved one will only make them feel worse and encourage them to use drugs.
If someone you love is using drugs, it can cause shock, fear, or anger. Communicating with someone who is using drugs can be difficult because of these strong emotions. It is important to find a time that you are both calm, sober and free from distractions. Don’t be judgmental, but offer your support and help.
Don’t delay. It doesn’t matter if your loved one hits rock bottom. The sooner an addiction is treated the better.
Be honest about your concerns. Be sincere and show concern. Give specific examples of drug-related behavior in your loved one that has made you worry. Be open about your feelings.
Listen. Listen. Even if you disagree with someone, listen. Your loved one will feel heard more often if they see you as someone they can trust and support.
Be prepared for denial. Be prepared for denial. When confronted with their drug use, many people feel shame and try to deny that they have it. Do not argue with them. Just revisit the matter another time.
Do not try to intimidate, threaten, bribe or punish anyone. Anger or emotional appeals can only increase the user’s guilt and strengthen their compulsion for use.
Do not expect one conversation to solve the problem. This conversation will be just one of many you’ll have about your loved one’s drug use. It is not possible to overcome addiction overnight. Sometimes it takes several conversations before they admit that they have a problem. This is the first step in the journey to recovery.
Stage an intervention
An intervention is usually a last-ditch effort by someone to convince them that they need treatment. Many addicts react angrily to being confronted by a group of people or feel that their loved ones are conspiring against them.
It is important that everyone involved in a family meeting or intervention comes from the same place and has compassion. It is not a place for addicts to vent their frustrations or make them feel ashamed or bullied. The problem is not the addict, but the disease that has engulfed them.
Supporting your loved one in their addiction recovery
It’s not possible to overcome an addiction to drugs with a one-size fits all approach. And it is rarely easy. You can encourage your loved one to seek treatment but you cannot force them to make changes or change their decisions. It is important that your loved one accepts responsibility for their actions and choices.
Be realistic about your expectations. Everybody is different. For one, recovery could mean complete abstinence from all drugs. It could be a reduction in drug use or a complete abstinence. Even if your loved ones find stability, being too rigid with your expectations can cause disappointment and a feeling of failure.
Encourage your loved ones to seek professional help. Some people can quit using drugs by themselves, but it is possible for others to get help. You can offer to be there for your loved one as they dial a helpline, accompany them to counseling sessions, and/or take you to a meeting of a peer support group.
Make sure they address co-occurring problems. Once they are sober, the same problems that led to your loved one’s drug abuse will remain. They will need to find better ways to cope with their mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety, if they used drugs to self-medicate. It is important that they address both their addiction and mental health issues simultaneously in order to achieve long-term recovery.
Plan for cravings and triggers. You will need to help your loved one deal with drug cravings or triggers. While you can distract them by engaging in other activities, or encouraging them to learn how they can ride out the urge, ultimately it is up to them to take responsibility for their sobriety.
Encourage them to try new things. Your loved one may find that they have more time after quitting drugs. Encourage them to find new interests that do not involve drugs, but add meaning to their lives. This will help to avoid them falling back into old patterns. You can think of volunteering, taking up a hobby, signing up for a class, spending time outdoors hiking and camping as examples of activities that don’t trigger you to use drugs.
Accept the possibility of relapse. Relapse is a possibility, regardless of your best intentions and the efforts of your loved one. Encourage the loved one to get clean again and to support them in their efforts to do so. Be patient. Every relapse offers the chance for your loved one learn from their mistakes and find a way forward.
There are many treatment options
You can receive treatment at your home, in a hospital, or in a sober living community. It will vary depending on the drug that your loved one is addicted, their age and other problems they may have. However, most treatment plans include the following:
To detox, purge the body from drugs, manage withdrawal symptoms and attain stability.
Any co-occurring mental problems should be treated.
Counselling, whether it is individual, group or family therapy, can be used to address the root cause of drug abuse and help people cope better.
You can take medication to ease withdrawal symptoms or to treat co-occurring conditions.
Peer support meetings such as the 12-step program are essential to help you stay on track with your recovery and keep you sober.
Setting healthy boundaries
It’s easy to get caught up in the trap of trying to protect someone you love from their drug addiction. You may be called “enabling” if you cover up the problem, make them feel better, place their feelings above your own, arrange your life to accommodate their drug addiction, and provide financial assistance if they can’t pay their bills or get in trouble with the law because of their drug use.
Although it might seem like you are being supportive, enabling your loved ones will only serve to fuel their addiction and cause damage to your health and well-being. It can be difficult to say no to someone you love, especially if they are your children. However, protecting them from the negative consequences of drug abuse often means that you remove the incentive for them to get help.
It is often necessary to make sure that someone is held accountable for their actions. You will eventually burn out from trying to excuse or cover up for your loved one’s actions without setting boundaries.
A few options for setting boundaries with a loved one who abuses drugs include:
It is against the law to allow drug paraphernalia or use in the home.
They should not be excused if they are absent from school or work, and they shouldn’t lie to get out of trouble.
They must pay their rent on time.
If they are arrested, refuse to give them money to cover debts or legal expenses.
Assure that you are treated with respect by your superiors, even when they are high up.
